As I head into San Jose for Unleash The Power within, I took a moment to outline the three goals and expectations that I have coming into the conference. While it’s not like me focus on the negative, it seemed fitting to identify the things that I want to change and the reasons that I intend to change. Following Tony’s lessons of “getting leverage,” I decided to post them publicly to provide more incentive to follow through. The following are my thoughts pre-seminar:
The last year has been an unbelievable discovery of myself, to who I am as a person, to what my purpose on this earth is. It came as a result of overcoming unbelievable pain (as I think most self discovery does). This week, I am continuing that journey by attending Tony Robbins’ “Unleash The Power Within” in San Jose, CA.
1) Have Clear Direction Regarding The Direction Of My Business
For years, I have “wanted” to be more than a guy who taught people to make money on the internet. For the last two years, I have strongly desired to build a real publishing company that wasn’t centered around just me.
My coach, Andrea, has been extremely helpful in helping me to become clear on what I want and to make steps in the right direction (for example, my decision to enroll in Second City Improv Training in Chicago was largely due to her pressing).
Two weeks ago, we set a five year goal of having a company valued at $100 million. Obviously, achieving this goal will require a clear step outside of the “internet marketing” box that is so tempting to stay in, and it demands serious risk that both scares and excites me. It’s time for me to make some leaps.
2) Letting Go Of Old Wounds
I often find myself retelling the story that, “I was supposed to get married a year and a half ago, and here’s how that affects me…” While I don’t consider myself still hung up on “her,” the wounds from that situation still have their effects. And to be quite honest, most of the other dating experiences that I have had since that breakup have been mostly destructive, although they have made for some incredibly awesome stories… one of which I plan to write a book about (seriously).
Telling myself the story of “heartache” or “almost getting married” or whatever you’d call it, has given me an excuse. And that excuse has benefited me in a great number of ways - in fact, I consider the breakup to be one of the greatest gifts that ever happened to me (not because it was a toxic situation – she is still a wonderful person, but because of the shift that happened in me afterward). As a result of that pain, I got a new lease on life that has freed me to take wonderful risks, experience new highs, and meet incredible people. I grew a pair and became a man as a result of that situation. However, it is time for me to move on from that “story”. That situation doesn’t hold me back unless I give it that power, and she doesn’t get to have that.
My biggest challenge, however, is forgiving myself for the situation. I blame myself for the breakup because I didn’t lead, because I lost my edge, because I was depressed, because those traits aren’t attractive to a woman. I’m still so, so sorry for that. Had I been different… who knows what would have happened. This, too, has served me, because by becoming a man, I now attract a caliber of women that I previously could have only imagined. And again, although I’m thankful for the pain, I often tell myself the story that I screwed up and I have to change. I’d like to heal that wound.
3) Growing Up As A Man
I own somewhere between four and six companies. I travel all over the world freely. People see me as influential and commanding and entertaining. I believe that I can achieve and do anything that I put my mind to. I am friends with incredibly influential people.
Yet I often still feel like a little boy. It’s humbling for me to admit this “in public” on my blog, but what the hell – it will give me leverage to change. I often find reasons to not see myself as being “grown up” – namely, not achieving my goals as fast as I desire (so I tell myself, “Ah, well, I’m still young,”) and the fact that my family often sees and treats me as the incompetent boy that I was in high school. It’s easy for me to “default” back into that state and that role.
In order to accomplish your goals, you must become the type of person that achieves them. For me, that requires me to grow up, to have unshakable self confidence, and a tenacity that comes from knowing that I can accomplish anything as long as I am determined. It means breaking the pattern of laziness and anxiety regarding failure.
People often see me as being on top of the world, as having it all together, and being insanely successful, even though I don’t always “feel” those. However, I think much of what I have achieved comes from the fact that I work on myself daily. This week in San Jose is a continuation of that.
I mainly outline these “publicly” in order to hold myself accountable to changing them, and I’ll follow up with my experiences in a later post.